It's Tearing Me
by MikkaAmaya
Summary: When Julie's all girls school closes down, the most unexpected thing happened, the three boys of her past that she'd covered up and left behind are now in her new school.
1. The Notice Board of Doom

**_It was the first day of her new school for Julie, June and their friends... but what happens when some unexpected -and unwanted- names appear on the notice board that changes Julie's life and puts her through a mental breakdown?_**

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We arrived at the new school, Karla's brother drove us there. June was asleep, she slept too late last night and couldn't wake up this morning. I had to dunk a bucket of cold water on her... and that kept her awake only long enough to change. I had to guide her into the car, she refused to open her eyes. She usually woke up the earliest, so it was very strange.

As soon as the car stopped June had opened her eyes. She looked energetic. Weird. We all got out of the car, we didn't need to bring anything on the first day of school. It was basically the orientation day. And surprisingly we were the earliest there.

We reached the stairs when I heard someone calling.

"Jules!" I turned around and saw that it was Layla.  
"Hey," I replied, emotionlessly.  
"Hey Layla!" June screamed.  
"Wazzup?" Karla acted cool.  
"Have you seen what class you're in?" Layla asked, nerve-recked.  
"No, we were just about to though," I replied.

We walked into the school -while chatting- and looked up at a huge blue notice board.

**JULIE L. CORROWAY - ENGLISH CLASSROOM 4 [MS. LARRA]**

"Cool, I got an English class as my homeroom," I mumbled to myself.  
"Man, I didn't get the same class!" June exclaimed.  
"Me neither!" Layla added.  
"I got..." Karla looked for her name...

**KARLA LOHHAN - SPANISH CLASSROOM 2 [MR. JAZZER]**

"What kind of Spanish teacher's name is Jazzer?" Layla's expression was kinda funny.  
"WHAT KIND OF NAME IS JAZZER?" Karla snapped. That was even funnier. June was giggling to herself too. Haha... twin telepathy.

"OMG..." Karla's OMG trailed off.  
"OH MY G-" Layla's didn't... I interrupted her.  
"WHAT?" I asked, annoyed.  
"Jules, stay calm an-" Karla was interrupted... by me.  
"WHAT IS IT?" I asked, annoyed and anxious.  
"Jules, calm down. I just want you to see some names here." I just sighed.

She pointed to a name, and I yelled.

**RONALD M. PIKKEL - SPANISH CLASSROOM 2 [MR. JAZZER]**

"!" I screeched.  
"Wait, theres more..."  
"Just tell me who... I don't like bad surprises..."  
"Fine. Jordan and Freddy,"  
"Wh-what?"  
"Yup,"  
"WHAT CLASS?" I couldn't hold back my screaming.  
"I don't know. I just saw their names somewhere,"

I grunted and turned back to look at the notice board. I looked desperately as my heart pounded faster and faster.

**JORDAN KENDLE B. - MATHEMATICS CLASSROOM 1 [MR. LUKE]**

"Thank God," I sighed in relief.  
"And there's no way that Freddy can be in my class because he's a year older..." Then I remembered something... "OH NO. HIS BIRTHDAY'S IN NOVEMBER* SO HE-"

**FRED ERICSON - ENGLISH CLASSROOM 4 [MS. LARRA]**

"NOOOOOOOO!"

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**Hey guys, sorry I didn't write it very long, I just hate it when my friends complain that it's too long to read. Lol. Anyway, you're probably wondering who the boys(Ron, Jordan & Freddy) are but you'll get it in the next chapter.**

***It's an international school so those birthdates past September are pushed back a year. Yup.**

**If you want to read 2 chaps ahead you can always go to my blog. (Check my profile to see blog link)**


	2. Fate Is Coincidence

**Sorry it took my like, 3 months to add in my SECOND chapter. I just have a lot of things going on now. UGH. I guess I'll just have to pull myself together and finish up the 4th chap... check out mah TOTALLY COOL BLOG at .com (if the link doesn't appear right, don't blame me, it's just FanFic)**

**ENJOYYYYYY. And review pls XD.**

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_**Julie decides that the only way to survive the turmoil of fate is to grit her teeth and accept it. She tries to pull herself together but will she fall apart when she confronts depressing memories?**_

How did this happen? How did my whole world fall apart in a minute? How are these guys in THIS school? I guess it's fate. Fate _is_ cruel after all.

"I thought you'd be happy that Jordan's here..." Karla implied.  
"Why should I be _happy_? I knew him since we were 7 and he acts as if I don't exist anymore."  
"I thought you-"  
"And WHY is RON here? He's supposed to be DEAD,"  
"What?" June suddenly asked. Then I realised I said 'dead' by mistake.  
"Don't forget Freddy," Layla ever so cruelly teased me.  
"Hey look!" June pointed to the list of names.  
"What is it this time?" I moaned.  
"Megan's here too. OH! And look! Ashley too!"  
"Really?" I looked up at the notice board. Megan was in a random class, Ashley on the other hand was in June's class.

"YAY! Ashley's in my class! I better go see her!" Then Juni(June's nickname, only I call her that) ran off.  
"I better get going to," Layla said softly.  
"Me too," Karla she said cheerfully.  
"Okay then.. bye..." I really _don't_ want to go to my class.

~IN CLASS~

By the time I got the courage to go to class, a lot more people already arrived at the school(and my class). I was too nervous I could barely stand so I just ran in and sat down at an empty table. Each table had two seats. I calmed myself down and just put my head on the table to rest.

"Hi! Long time no see," I suddenly hear a familiar voice trying to start a conversation with me.

I looked up to see who it was and my face flushed red instantly. Freddy.

"Hi..." I muttered. My voice was kinda shaky.  
"Can I sit here?"  
"Uh," _Say no. SAY NO! _"Sure." Damn.

He sat down, putting down a notebook and a pen on the table. He always was prepared.  
Silence.

"Good morning class," a female voice started to speak. "I'm Ms. Larra your homeroom teacher. First of all, those of you who have not collected your schedules pleace proceed to the administration office."

"Have you gotten yours yet?" Freddy asked me.  
"No," I replied, a one-syllable answer was all I could stand.  
"Then come on. Let's go," he stood up. I stood up too and followed mindlessly behind him.

He opened the door for me. He was always such a gentleman.

"The admin is 2 floors down, so stairs or ramp?" he asked me as I walked through the door.  
"Um, stairs," the ramp was too long, he would have tried to start a REAL converstaion like 'How's it been?'.

We walked down the steps quickly, to avoid being late. Suddenly there was a BANG behind us. I turned around too fast and slipped of the edge of the stair. Mental preparation for pain.

I didn't feel any 'thud' whatsoever. Just some sort of plank-thing on my back.

"Whoa. Watch your step there," I heard a voice, not Freddy's though.

I turned around to see who it was. Fast heartbeat again, flushed face. Jordan.

"Oh, hi," he said quietly, he looked a bit surprised.  
"Hi," I mumbled as I got back up on my feet.  
"Going to get your table?"  
"Table?"  
"Sorry, uh.. _schedule_."  
"Yeah," my heartbeat was slowing down.  
"See you later," he walked away.

Only when I couldn't see Jordan anymore, I looked back and noticed that Freddy was just standing there, he was waiting the whole time.

"An old friend?" he broke the silence. I was calmer now.  
"Yeah."  
"Thought so. Blushy," that triggered my flushed face again.  
"Wh-at?" I stuttered.  
"See? You're blushing,"  
"Ummh.. l-let's just get our schedules!"  
"Okay, okay... BLUSHER." I grunted.

~HOMEROOM PERIOD JUST ENDED~

"Okay students, please go to your respective classes now. Have a nice day," Ms. Larra tend to speak with a smile.

Everyone in class dispersed quickly. Leaving me be the only one in the class. Even Freddy was gone.  
Okay, so I had Maths first, uh, let's see. Oh. Dang. Same class as Jordan. Oh well, better grit my teeth.

~MATHS CLASS~

I saw Jordan sitting alone. But- Damn. Last free seat got taken. Fate is mean. I took a gulp and walked toward him. My movements were so rigid.

"Can I sit here?"  
"Go ahead,"  
"Th-thanks," I stuttered. I was most nervous with HIM.

"Good morning, students," the teacher, Mr. Luke greeted as he was writing on the board, "My name is and I am your Maths teacher. First of all, I'd like you to introduce yourselves."

There was moaning throughout the class. Then suddenly someone in back yelled;

"I HATE MY LIFE!" Not 2 seconds later... "Lollipop," Mr. Luke said as he held out a lollipop and she ran forward and grabbed it and squeed. It was kinda funny.

"Now, girl, can I have your name?" He asked that girl.  
"TUESDAY!" She yelled.  
"Um, he said _name_, Bobo head," A guy two tables away bugged her.  
"TU-U-U-UESDAY!" She whined, "MY NAME IS TUESDAY SUMMERS!"  
"I see," Mr. Luke smiled, then he asked the others to continue, one-by-one.

"So..." Jordan mumbled to me.  
"So..." I mumbled back, still flushed.  
"How's it... been?" he asked, refusing to make eye-contact.  
"Okay... I guess. You?"  
"Uhm, fine I guess..."

There was an awkward silence between us.

"Okay, I know this sounds strange to ask but... do you..." he trailed off.  
"Y-yeahh?" I sounded like I saw a ghost..

A little bit more awkward...

"Like me?"

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**Hey guys, I couldn't figure how to end it so there... a really awkward question. This chap explains a LOT more.**

**See you again in CHAP 3(hopefully :D)**

**Props to my sis, SukiAmaya who is currently writing her fanfic entitled 'The Last Song' and to XxKasumiAmuxX who is FREAKING FAMOUS IN .**

**NEXT CHAP:**

_**Julie has confronted two of the three memories of her past (in which one confrontation ended awkwardly), now she has to confront the one she hates to confront most... Ron. So far she hasn't been handling it well, but can she keep it together when she meets him again?**_


	3. Mood Swings

**WHAZZUP PEEPS OF THE WORLD. HELLO ALIENS AND BROTHERS. HELLO LONG HAIRS AND HAIRYS.**

**Thanks to Suki... for helping me out with this chap :) And PS to her, YOU KNOW YOU LOVE HIM ~~~~~~**

**HEEHEE. SHE IS SOOOOO GONNA KILL ME. XDXDXDXDXD. **

**[Oh, and after I wrote this chap I wrote a minisode called 'The Death of Leelii' and I couldn't post it here coz that would screw up all the chapter listings and bla so GO READ IT AT MY WEBSITE~.com XD]  
**

**Anyways... ENJOYZ!  
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**_Julie has confronted two of the three memories of her past (in which one confrontation ended awkwardly), now she has to confront the one she hates to confront most... Ron. So far she hasn't been handling it well, but can she keep it together when she meets him again?_**

I can't believe that Jordan actually asked that. I mean... I thought that everything we had was forgotten. Did he actually hang on to these memories like Idid? No.. it's not possible.

"I'm sorry you're so troubled," Juni said to me sympathetically as I stared at my food, poking it with a fork. It actually looked REALLY good, but after everything, I just can't eat right now.

I looked up at her once, faked a smile(pathetically) and went back to staring at my food. Then I took out my schedule from my pocket -noticing as I shifted sight that everyone was just staring at me, with the same expression as June's- and glared at the next subject;

CHEMISTRY

It was cruelly sarcastic. Chemistry... What I thought we had before. I know, I know, it sounds dorky but really... we were once together. We were once your freakily cliche young couple.

But now, I regret every single one of those memories. And now I have to meet regret again. Sigh.

~CHEMISTRY CLASS~

This was it. It was time. Deeeep breath.

Oh wait... IS THAT ASHLEY? YES! YES! SHE HAS AN EMPTY SPOT BESIDE HER!

"Ash!" I called out from the door, the teacher wasn't here yet and I was early so.. Yeah.  
"Hey! Long time, Jules!" She waved back at me. I ran towards her.  
"Anyone-"  
"Nope. C'mon sit,"  
"YAY," maybe it was going to be alright. Maybe, just maybe I could have him no part of my life!

~CHEMISTRY JUST ENDED~

WOOHOO! I did it... avoid talking to Ron. I DID IT!

"Hey, babe..." ...HHHHUMH... spoke to soon...  
"No, don't call me babe," I told him, not looking.  
"Uh, then Jules?"  
"No, no, no, no, no... just Julie... **just** Julie,"  
"Well, babe..." he refused to call me Julie. I sighed.  
"YES?" I snapped at him, still without looking.  
"Babe?..." Ashley mumbled to herself.  
"Remember on a Valentines day before, I missed it?" he spoke... I sighed.  
"BABE?" Ashley muttered again.

"Well, I thought that I could have a replacement Valentines Day for you tomorrow, whatcha think?" he was crazy.  
"Um, Ron, I don't think we should reliv-"  
"GREAT! I'll see you tomorrow, movies?"  
"Ro-"  
"AWESOME. Pick you up at nine!" he concluded with gay smile. Then walked away.

"BABE?" Ashley asked me... confused.  
"Uh, yeah. 'Bout that..."  
"Where you like...?"  
"Yeah," when I said that she did a kinda like 'O.o' face.  
"Are you still...?"  
"Noooooo,"  
"Then why did he, like, ask you out?"  
"I DON'T KNOW."

[FYI, all three chaps have so far been on ONE day. A Friday to be exact.]

~THE NEXT DAY~

"JUUUUUUUUUUUUULIEEEEEEEEEEE!" I heard June scream at me, it woke me up.  
"WHAAAT?" I yelled back.  
"UH, SEE FOR YOURSELF!"

I got up and put on a cotton jacket and walked into the hallway, trying to look for Juni. I saw her at the door, it was open, she was fidgeting.

"Whaaat is it?" I whined.  
"Hey!" I heard Ron's voice. I looked pass June at the door and saw a dude. A dude I knew as Ron.

I softly pushed Juni aside and slammed the door on his face.

"BYE RON!" I shouted through the door.  
"C'mon! Let's go!" He shouted back.  
"I'm still in my jammies!"  
"Then quickly change!" I grunted really loudly.  
"GO AWAY!"  
"Bitch.."  
"What?" I said as I opened the door.  
"I just wanted to take you on a replacement Valentines Day,"  
"I DON'T NEED A FRIGGIN VALENTINES DAY!"  
"MY GOD, YOU ARE SUCH A BITCH!"  
[silence]  
"This is just like that day when you tried to kiss me," he moaned. WHAT KISS?  
"I NEVER FREAKING DID YOU DELUSIONAL LUMP OF STUPID!"  
"Yessss, you did!" he whined like a baby.  
"NO I DID NOT! NOW GO AWAY! THIS IS WHY I WANTED YOU OUT OF MY LIFE!"  
"SO YOU WANT TO JUST IGNORE EACH OTHER, IS THAT IT?"  
"**YES**!"  
"...So you want to act as if we don't know each other exist?" he moped. Like a puppy.  
"Yes. That's everything I want,"  
"Well, then."  
"Bye."  
"Bye then..."  
"Bye."  
"I guess then-"  
"Bye."  
"Wel-"  
"Bye."

~TWO HOURS AFTER STRANGE VISIT FROM RON~

I still can't get the conversation between Ron and I out of my head. I also can't even remember why I liked him in the first place... I feel as if someone sliced me with such a wide cut that I tore open. A scar you're reminded of. That's what it feels like.

"Juni, where are the movie tickets?" I asked June, she was sitting next to me on the bed -I was lying down.  
"Oh, I forgot to tell you."  
"Tell me what?"  
"I can't go." _...what? Aw man..._  
"Wh-why?" I pouted.  
"I need to finish writing review for a FanFic story." _Oh sigh._  
"Alright then. I'll go alone, might as well not waste the tickets right?"  
"Yup." she smiled then got up and walked out my room. Probably wanted to get her com.

~AT THE CINEMA~

Hmmm... she got tickets for Tron... Now where are they showing that?

"Oh hey!" I turned around and saw Freddy waving at me, lining up in the Ticket queue.  
"Oh, hi." I walked towards him, face flushed again.  
"Who're you waiting for?" he asked.  
"What? Oh. Um, it was for my sister and I but she couldn't come,"  
"Ooh! Tron?" he looked anticipated...  
"Yeah, uh, you wanna watch with me?" I had to ask... it-it was Freddy... how could I not?  
"Sure, thanks!"

~THROUGH THE FIRST 10 MINUTES OF TRON~

Wow. I was watching a movie. With Freddy sitting beside me.

"Boom.." he muttered silently, chomping on a kernel of popcorn.

I couldn't resist looking at him act so childishly. I barely looked at the screen even...  
Suddenly he turned to look at me. I think he noticed. I twisted my head back to look at the screen but... I think he saw me looking at him.

"Why do you blush so much?" he asked such an awkward question. My face flushed redder.  
"Wha-whataya mean?"  
"You tend to blush a lot. Well, since I've seen you again."  
"N-no I haven't-t," I couldn't hold back my stutter.  
"Yes you have. And you stutter a lot too."  
"Well, w-why do **you** think so?"  
"Um..." I just realised how awkward I made things.  
"Uh, I-I better go. I need to... be somewhere,"  
"Oh, uh, okay..."

I got my jacket and stood up-

"Wait!" he quietly called me, "Popcorn?" he handed out the popcorn in my direction and I took a kernel and mouthed a thanks.

~OUTSIDE THE CINEMA~

I just remembered that there was a place outside the mall where they have open mic nights on weekends. Never been there but Ashley told me about it during *choke* Chemistry. You know what? I'll call it Chem class from now on.

I walked along the outside of the mall and finally found the place, MARVO'S. Funny name. I walked inside and saw a guy playing guitar on stage, he was good. Then I noticed a blonde-haired boy looking at me. I looked back, raised an eyebrow. He gestured towards the stage. I thought for a while. Then nodded.

And just as I stepped away from the door, causing it to start closing, someone touched my shoulder from behind...

"BOO." Jordan spooked me.  
"Oh, hi Jord-an," I used to call him Jordy.  
"I knew you always liked singing,"  
"Yup," I was getting slightly better at controlling my blush levels.  
"I guess you managed to actually get good, huh?" he teased.  
"Meanie," I softly nudged him.  
"Oh well, I got to go,"  
"See you on Monday then."  
"Bye," he walked backwards out the door he kept open then left.

After that I walked over to the blonde guy and told him the song name then went up on stage.

"Dear customers, now we present... JULIE!"

Then the band started playing...

_I used to think that one day we'd tell the story of us,_  
_And how we met_  
_And how the sparks flew instantly_  
_And people would say they're the lucky ones_

_I used to know my place was the spot next to you,_  
_Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat_  
_Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on_

_Oh, a simple complication,_  
_Miscommunications lead to a fallout,_  
_So many things that I wish you knew_  
_So many walls up, I can't break through_

_Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room_  
_And we're not speaking_  
_And I'm dying to know_  
_Is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah_

_And I don't know what to say since a twist of fate,_  
_When it all broke down_  
_And the story of us_  
_Looks a lot like a tragedy now_

_Next chapter_

_How did we end up this way?_  
_See me nervously pulling at my clothes_  
_And trying to look busy_  
_And you're doing your best to avoid me_

_I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us_  
_How I was losing my mind when I saw you here_  
_But you held your pride like you should have held me_

_Oh, I'm scared to see the ending,_  
_Why are we pretending this is nothing?_  
_I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how_  
_I've never heard silence quite this loud._  
_[ From: . ]_

_Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room_  
_And we're not speaking_  
_And I'm dying to know_  
_Is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah_

_And I don't know what to say since a twist of fate,_  
_When it all broke down_  
_And the story of us_  
_Looks a lot like a tragedy now_

_This is looking like a contest_  
_Of who can act like they care less_  
_But I liked it better when you were on my side_

_The battle's in your hands now_  
_But I would lay my armor down_  
_If you said you'd rather love than fight_

_So many things that you wish I knew_  
_But the story of us might be ending soon_

_Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room_  
_And we're not speaking_  
_And I'm dying to know_  
_Is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah_

_And I don't know what to say since a twist of fate_  
_When it all broke down_  
_And the story of us_  
_Looks a lot like a tragedy now_  
_Now, now, now_

_And were not speaking,_  
_And I'm dying to know_  
_Is it killing you_  
_Like it's killing me?_

_And I don't know what to say since a twist of fate,_  
_'Cause were going down_  
_And the story of us_  
_Looks a lot like a tragedy now_

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**Hey guys! I really hoped you looked through the lyrics of the song... it matches the story perfectly. I didn't plan the song actually :P It was an accidental discovery.**

**This chap didn't turn out the way I planned BTW.**

**I LOVE ANYONE WHO READS MY STUFF COZ I LOVE MY READERS. AND SukiAmaya's(June/MAH SIS) READERS. AND XxKasumiAmuxX's(Ashley's) READERS.**

**!**

**MAN, I'M HIGHY.**

**See you in...**

**NEXT CHAP:**

_**Now that she's re-met all of her nightmares, she knows what her school year's gonna be like. Suckish. Lame. Horrible. All of it. But what happens when she takes a slip in the canteen and falls in a strange direction?**_


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